You know how we look back at our internet presence from high school? Or even middle school? Well, I'm embarrassed of the way I saw things even just 3 years ago. I was reading old posts here, and I know I was just working through some things,  but I don't like the weird victim mentality I had. I'm not a victim in most of my past relationships. I'm sure I hurt them as much as they hurt me... many I'm sure I did more damage than they.  Usually in the cold way I leave in the end. But I'm realizing more and more how mean I can actually be. It happens because of how excessively I bottle things up until it ferments into resentment. That resentment comes out hotter than steam sometimes. And all of that is all my fault.