Hey, I'm not dead. Surprisingly.
I really, truly wanted to die. I didn't want to do it myself because I didn't want to leave Jonah to deal with all the shit alone. But we almost died one night by Carbon Monoxide poisoning. It was completely on accident, but I was so disappointed when it didn't happen. I didn't want Jonah and the dogs to die too, but I wasn't phased that I had almost died.
I shouldn't have cried as much as I did in front of Jonah (Hell, I couldn't stop one night. I cried in front of him and my brother Josh when we were packing our shit and leaving in the middle of the night). I'm actually getting really upset thinking about this. I guess it's still too fresh.
I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on Jonah so much.
I'm glad through all of it, we are better now. Life didn't break us though it tried like hell.
We moved back into our old apartment, and things have been falling into place ever since. I have a job now working with dogs. Not getting paid nearly enough, but at least it's something.
I feel better about my life being as independent as possible. My goal for the year is to pay off enough of the shared credit card I have with my mom and take my name off of it. I'm sick of my mom seeing my expenses and also opening my fucking mail.
Not really in a writing mood right now but thought I should do a tiny update.
