Oh, so an updated from that last post...
Shit got bad.
We broke up. I cried for days. I didn't eat or sleep. I lost a bunch of weight.
He had quit his high-paying job on the spot. Didn't tell me. Called his mommy and immediately went to Alabama. He found a job down there and he lives there now.
I was very bitter.
I am still bitter.
I'm sure I will never not be bitter about how everything went down. I still think it's extremely shitty to do all of that behind my back.
However, we have talked about things and we are back together. Just long distance now. Something I said I would never do. I don't think he understands how much I've compromised when I was originally unwilling to compromise.
He still has everything he wants: lives with his mommy, has a job he claims to love (it won't last long), and still has his girlfriend.
And while I have been looking for another job (got offered a better one recently but it was a bit too far of a job, so I declined... not sure if it was the right choice), I am playing it safe.
Lane is getting upset that I won't take the first job I'm offered that gives me weekends off. It would be nice to have weekends to hang out with him because he drives up here {almost} every weekend. But I'm mad that he is expecting me to make all these changes to benefit the relationship when he is the one who dismantled it.
I do want to make decisions for the betterment of us; however, I'm not going to take the first opportunity I'm offered. I'm holding out for something that will feel way better.
And in the current state of things, what with a worldwide pandemic and all, I don't think any real change is going to come soon. Not any good change anyway...
I feel our relationship is stronger after all of this though. I'm still madly in love with him I guess. I'm irresistibly attracted to him still, so our sex life has significantly improved only seeing other on weekends... Gotta get while you can, ya know?
My job sorta asked me to voluntarily use vacation days next week to not come to work because there is no work to do. Pretty sure that's illegal, but I volunteered it only for 1 week. I'm not willing to use more vacation days than that (especially if I end up having to stay home to quarantine myself for 14 days). I told them to put me on the schedule at least one day next week so I can get out of the house. I'm thinking of using that time as an opportunity to paint my house since I have been wanting to paint for a long time.
I'd sorta like to go more into detail about all of these things but I wanted to get this all down quickly. I don't have internet at my house (Lane paid for it and I am too poor to afford it), so I'm jotting down the highlights of the last month while I'm borrowing internet at dad's house.
