Menace

I've been trying to do it right. I've been living a lonely life. I've been sleeping here instead. I've been sleeping in my bed...

Sleeping in my bed.

For once I'm writing in the morning, not because I haven't slept, but because I woke up in the middle of the night.

Yesterday, I got my degree in the mail. I'm really graduated now. I also received an email from my former supervisor at my first internship. She asked where I landed and said she had a place in mind for me. After I replied, all she said was "keep in touch," so I don't know what's going to come of that.

I'm very quickly losing faith in the idea of opposite-sex friendships. I told one friend that, although we sorta kinda had a "thing" years ago, I just don't see it ever developing into anything more serious these days. And yesterday Meyer told me that he is developing feelings for me, so he is going to quit talking to me for awhile. He and I never so much as flirted, but I let him go and told him I understand.

I feel like I should feel bad about this, and I know I will, but right now it kind of feels right. It feels like this needed to happen. Things are falling apart, and I'm letting them. I'm hoping all of this dismantling will be the change that I need.

Yet I still can't escape these grabbing hands.

I'm starting to feel like I'm a burden to others' emotions, and it would be best if I stayed away.

I'm pretty tired of talking about this. Moreover, I'm tired of living it.



These days that you finally find
That pure restitution is not on your side
There's never been a place to hide
You have to face it