Talking

I've been talking to someone I probably shouldn't be. I can't help it though. He actually TALKS to me. I'm so tired of being ignored. :/ The person who should be making me happy, isn't. And the person who most definitely shouldn't make me happy, does! So, whatever. Do whatever makes you happy, right?

Too bad I'm not happy anymore.

The summer was good. I miss that. I don't feel it's safe to relay my exact thoughts about everything here... maybe I'll write them down in a draft. Or maybe I'll build up the courage to write them here.

It's just, the cute texts... at the time when I get them, they seem all sweet and I push all my doubts to the side... But mostly I wonder if he's reassuring me or really just trying to convince himself. I just don't like this anymore. But at the same time, I don't know what I would do without it. And I don't know if I'd be happy either way...

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EDIT: It's now 3:30 in the morning and I just got done hanging out with other college kids for once. And, for once, I actually enjoyed myself, despite the raging headache, despite the fact that the first bunch of people I hung out with were all drunk, despite everything - I had fun. I kinda regret staying up this late though cuz it's gonna fuck up my already skewed sleeping pattern. But, I got the bulk of bearable people tonight, and it was worth it. Not quite "just what I needed," but pretty damn close. I forgot about my worries for a minute.