I learned how to stay quiet, just stay quiet

The thing I expected to happen, did not. I'm kinda glad it didn't though because as big a deal as it is not, it terrifies me. To anyone who may be reading this, it's not even anything physical. It's something serious. I'm not sure why it scares me so much.

I was thinking last night, while we were just sitting on the couch watching a movie, that I'm way too young to feel this way. Too many internal struggles constantly pulling back and forth. One thing, I'm glad I've kept it to myself this long. I'm going to continue to do that.

I also realized the other day that my life is literally Twilight. I hate to admit it, but at the moment, it's scarily accurate. I don't know if this needs explanation or not, but I don't feel like going into detail. It's all set up in my mind, and that's where it needs to stay right now.

Another realization within the last couple of days: I am a curse upon myself. I don't mean this to sound conceited by any means because I'm far from it, but my looks and my personality, apparently, are a curse.

I guess sometimes it's a good thing to have no one to talk to, to tell every last thought to. At least I don't have to regret anything.

Speaking of regrets... nope. Still have none. "They're on their way but ain't here yet."

Yesterday with Nate was eventful. All those internal struggles though...

I always prefer writing these blogs with my thoughts as opposed to the ones with the events in my life lately. But I think they're both necessary. For myself. One day this whole blog will mean something.

So, today I'm going to see Daddy. I don't know how I'm getting there yet. I'll find a way.

Also, Nikki is coming back to Memphis with me! She's busy packing and moving today, but we're picking her up in the morning and heading 4 hours west. Man, I can not wait for these last two weeks to be over...

Well, my day is only halfway through, so I may come back and add to this later tonight.

EDIT: I'm back from my dad's house. I got to see everyone. Daddy, Keith, Mike, Ryan, Jake and Krista, Taz, Rudy, Kit Kat... but no puppies. Apparently, today before I got there, someone stole the puppies... Dad went to the store and the puppies were in the driveway and Keith saw a silver-ish SUV stop and take all of them... So, I've been pretty sad about that. I can only hope whoever took them intends on taking care of them (though I know that's not likely). I can only hope that whoever took them just couldn't resist cuz they were just so god damned cute...

Anyway, I found out that Mike listens to a lot of the *ahem* heavier (I refuse to say hardcore, although I guess technically it's considered post-hardcore and idk the difference and I hate sub-genres anyway so I refuse to say it) must that I do. Like Memphis May Fire, Asking Alexandria, and Pierce the Veil. I was mildly surprised.

Anyway, I have to wake up early in the morning. We gotta go an hour to Hermitage to pick up Nikki and then 4 hours back to Memphis. I'm getting more and more stressed just thinking about it... only 2 more weeks.