Lane sent me a picture today out of the blue. It was a picture of me that he took. Wholesome,  seemingly nothing special.  Not candid, since he isn't that type of person.  I seem to vaguely remember him asking me to stay still while me took it. 

He said it was his favorite picture. 

I asked why.

He said: "Because you are making the cutest face and you have a really wonderful smile but you’re even more adorable because you have the most derp hair but seem completely oblivious to it."

I don't understand any of this coming from someone who supposedly doesn't like me. It made me anxious.  I was distracted. I wasn't expecting any of that.  

 

I gave my mind a moment to wander... do I still care? Could things have been different?

Then I quickly moved on .

I've got bigger things to think about right now.  First and at the utmost foremost: I've been feeling a little sick. Slight cough and constant pressure in my chest.  It's had me worried that maybe I finally picked up this virus.  And it's nothing severe for me, but it's had me worried about everyone I've been around lately.  I'm thinking of getting tested. 

The boy has continued to be a constant (good) distraction. Although today he exhibited some less than appealing traits based on a conversation we had that turned into the conspiracy theories he seems to believe.  Shame.

I have to really consider what I want moving forward because David has, once again,  presented me with an ultimatum. 

I hate having to make decisions.