Far

I'm moving forward with my plan to get out. Actively. Time and money is already being invested.

I'm pretty set on not moving to the new house with the roommates. I finally found an apartment that will allow my dog. I'm getting out of here as soon as I can.

I'm unsure how this will affect my relationship with David, but, if I'm being honest, I'm not entirely hopeful. I feel like my eyes have been opened to the way things are. Some days I feel guilty for how I feel. Some days I want to make it work. But most days I feel numb to it all.

The other night we had a conversation after he used the word "complacent" in place of "unsatisfied/unhappy/restless" when referring to a friend. I disagreed with his definition in the particular context (which is what ignited the debate). I don't believe complacent can be interchangable with unhappy. I think it just means being comfortable with the status quo. Neither happy nor unhappy; so, unwilling/unmotivated to change anything. And this, I feel, is his attitude toward the relationship. He is comfortable.

I'm not.

I've expressed my complaints with him. I've explained my unhappiness. Maybe not in detail, but at least he knows. And I'm met with apathy. It seems my concerns are simply shrugged off.

If you think I'll "get over it," you're right; I will. But you won't like the way I choose to get over it.

And so I have a lot on my mind.

And so my mind wanders.

Far.