25

I'm 25 now. Nothing is different, of course. Obviously, I don't feel any different.

"In fact, everything is just about the same."

My birthday was a slew of emotions: disappointment, surprise, uncertainty. There was a tinge of thankful. I appreciate those who thought about me...

And, Sam, thanks for throwing me that bone, I guess. But, really, you don't have to talk to me when you don't want to.  I never understood why you ghosted me, but I do understand why you stayed away.

David took me to dinner. My family had a get-together the next day. I blew off a few friends because I just haven't been feeling up for it.

I found an apartment that I can move into with Bear. Now I just need to find a roommate. The expenses will be a struggle, but maybe I'll be happier...

Almost anything would be better than how I'm living now. And at this point, I'm expecting the move to distance the relationship, and I have run out of any energy to save it.

I get so tired of feeling this way.