Jack and Boobies

(This is a long post. Take off your jacket and stay awhile).

On Friday I drove to Jonah's place. I do it often, but it's a 40-minute drive. When I got there at 1:30, despite the two of us having made plans the previous day to get lunch on this day, he was extremely drunk. AT 1:30! I was a little annoyed because he knew I was coming over, and also it's super irresponsible to be so shitfaced so early in the day especially when you have to go to work in about 4 hours. Regardless, I was happy to see him and he was very happy to see me. He asked what I wanted to eat, and I told him "One day I will know the answer to that question. Today is not that day." I asked what he wanted, and he said "Jack and boobies" before burying his face in my chest. I laughed because I wasn't expecting that answer. I told him later that he had said that and he laughed too because he was blacked out at the time of saying it and did not remember it at all. It has now become an inside joke between us. (I don't think I need to explain this, but I guess I should clarify that this is referring to Jack Daniels whiskey, not Jack the person obviously).

Without going into too much detail, he and his friend got alcohol poisoning thanks to the extreme amount of liquor they had consumed before I got there. They both blacked out... and I felt obligated to babysit. I wasn't about to let someone die from choking on their own vomit--that shit is too real of a possibility. At one point Jonah disappeared to the bathroom to go throw up again. He was gone for a long time (I later learned that he had passed out in a pile of his own puke), so I took that as my opportunity to leave. So, after 3 hours of feeling awkward as hell in his apartment, I drove 40 minutes back home.

I stopped at my dad's house to have my car looked out. He and family-friend Keith checked out my engine and tires to make sure my car was good to make the trip to Memphis I was taking in a couple days. Jonah texted me when he woke up saying he is "such an asshole." He called me a couple times, too, but I didn't answer.

The reason I forgive him is because this is the first time anything bad has happened. Granted, he fucked up big time, I later told him "everybody gets one." I wasn't a bitch about it this time, but if anything like this happens again, I'm going to be a huge bitch about it, and I may have to leave him. I'm not going to be in another shitty relationship. Okay, so the other reason I forgive him is because (after he regained consciousness), he immediately recognized his faults and addressed everything he did wrong that day. That's actually a big thing because in my last relationship with Max, he would never recognize he did something wrong unless I made it clear that he had done it, and even then he wouldn't always know WHAT he had done wrong. Jonah apologized profusely and asked what he could do to make up for "wasting my time and gas money." HE EVEN TEXTED MICHELLE AND TOLD HER THAT HE FUCKED UP.

So, yeah. He fucked up. He came over later that night to make up for the time we were supposed to spend together. That's when I told him that everybody gets one. I'm all about second chances. Third chances aren't as easily given. He said he had hoped not to use his one so soon. I told him tough luck; he had already used it. So now he's got to walk on eggshells for the rest of the duration of this relationship. What really got him is I told him while I was babysitting that I was having flashbacks of my last relationship (you know, ditching me/skipping out on dates to get high with his friends). Jonah said he was afraid of that because I had JUST told him the day before why my previous relationship was so shitty towards the end. But anyway, I reconciled with Jonah.

Michelle came over that night and the three of us hung out. Things got weird haha. Michelle tries to make things awkward and Jonah just goes along with it. He took his pants off at one point and hung out in his boxers the rest of the night. For the record, Michelle had changed clothes right in front of us when as soon as she got there, so that kind of set the tone for the night. They argued over who gets to have me. Jonah is such a good sport about everything, especially my friends being weird with him, and I love that about him.

The next day, the three of us went to Nashville for a day of adventure. I did all the driving, so that was scary. We went to Performance Studios, a halloween/costume store; the aquatic critter, a fish and reptile pet shop; and Miranda's, a sex shop. Because why not? Jonah bought something at Miranda's for he and I to test out... I've never used any kind of toy before, and I maintain my claim to vanilla-ness, but I'm willing to give most things a try. Jonah and I have not tested out the thing yet... but Michelle really wants our reviews of it so she can decide if she wants to buy one for herself and her boyfriend. I don't feel as awkward about all of this as I thought maybe I would. I'm pretty sure I won't feel awkward about it when we give the thing a try or when I tell Michelle all about it... I dropped Jonah off at work at around 5pm. Then Michelle and I went to a game store. We were right in the area where I was living over the summer. While it was just Michelle and I in the car, I told her a lot of things that I had never told her before. I told her everything about Eric (next to no one knew about Eric), I told her how I ended things with Jack and WHY I did it. I told her some things that were really personal. Things I don't normally tell anyone. When it came to talking about other people in that area, I only had good things to day. At least about the one she was most interested in hearing about. I told her I wished I could say bad things because of the way things are now, but I had nothing bad to say. Anyway, she learned a lot that day.

We went back to Jonah's place in Bellevue where we had left her car. We went in and took his dog out to go potty and played with her for a minute. She got her car and we both drove to Murfreesboro separately to get dinner at Mellow Mushroom. Afterward, we went to a metal show that my brother's band was playing in Murfreesboro. Jack knew I was in town and was trying to get me to hang out with him after work. I told him I didn't have the time. He said "You came all the way to Murfreesboro and you're not even going to see me." I asked him if he would still want to be my friend if I had a boyfriend. He replied, "I thought we were still friends so that's kind of a dick question."

I said, "All but 2 of my friends are dudes. It's hard to know who is really my friend for the sake of just being friends."

His reply: "I really enjoyed having a sexual relationship with you on top of your friendship. But I can handle losing the sexual aspect."

I guess that's good to know... I don't know how sincere it is because I don't trust people. I don't trust men. Most of them don't want to be my friend after they learn they can't have me physically. It makes me feel worthless.

And that's exactly why, when I realize they don't respect me or value my friendship for what it is, I've been saying "fuck them" and not keeping them around anymore. I really needed that too. I've needed these changes in my life.

But I digress. I invited Eric out to the show. I didn't really want to hang out with him, but he has some of my things and I have really been wanting them back. I told him to bring my things when he came out to the show. After the show, I spoke with him alone at his car. There is no getting through to him, and after that night, I realized we can never be friends. He is a big reason I've lost my faith in most men. He's so fucking typical. Won't take a hint. Won't take "no" for an answer. I told him to his face, once again, that if he can't handle being platonic friends, then we simply can't be friends. And he was all "hear me out tho," and he just refused to accept what I was saying. I kept trying to pull myself away from the conversation, but he wouldn't let me go. Eventually Michelle walked over to us, and I looked at the time and it was 10pm. I was pissed! I was supposed to be back in Nashville at 10:30 to pick up Jonah from work. Oh, and I never got my things from Eric. I know he is basically holding them ransom as an excuse for me to come around...

I told Jonah about Eric, and he said he'd go get my things for me, but I really don't want him to get involved. He was pretty serious though. I made it to Nashville around 10:50 or so. I asked Jonah to drive because I had been driving for the last 12 hours and I also parked like an asshole. He laughed about my parking but obliged me in my request for him to drive. So we went back to his place. I wasn't prepared to stay the night, so he drove me all the way to Dickson so I could grab some things, and then we went back to his.

We slept. We didn't have sex. We just slept together. And it's so nice that those expectations aren't there. I'm not used to it, but I feel like he can tell if I'm not in the mood, so he doesn't even try. I'm just not used to someone not trying. I have one test and one test only: whether or not a man can accept "no" because it's something I've so rarely experienced. I have tested him, and he has passed. I'm in a relationship where I do feel respected for once. But I'll let you really know once the honeymoon phase is over...

The next morning, Sunday, I woke up bright and early. I got dressed, and Jonah, as tired as he was but also being the gentleman that he is, walked me out to my car. When I left, he went back to sleep. He texted me later asking if he had walked me to my car because he woke up and I wasn't there and he freaked out. He was so tired, he forgot he did it.

I made it to Nikki's house at around 9am. She, her friend Gabby, and I went to Memphis for the day. Our main purpose for going was to go to the haunted corn maze, but it was closed that day due to the rain. So we went to he mall, since none of us had ever been to that one (Nikki and I didn't get out much when we lived there). I bought Jonah some hand sanitizer called "Noir" because it smelled like sexy man. It smelled like him, and I like a man who smells good... I bought myself some that smells like cherries. After the mall, we drove around for awhile. We went to JT's apartment unannounced, but we didn't even knock on the door because it looked like no one lived there anymore. ): We ate sushi and were stuck at the restaurant for 2 hours due to the slow service. The place was packed and busy as hell. Next, we wandered Beale St for awhile. Then, we went to Wizards, the head shop. We left Memphis around 10:30pm. After dropping Gabby off, we made it back to Nikki's house at almost 3 in the morning. Nikki was driving, but I took over in Jackson and drove the last 2 hours home. I slept at Nikki's that night.

The next morning, Monday, Nikki and I went to the Halloween store and I got the final items for my Halloween costume. Nikki and I are going to be Daria and Jane because it's who we really are anyway. I stopped at Jonah's on my way home. We got food, watched a movie, and later, when his roommate came home, we all went out for ice cream. Jonah had to be at work at, like, 7:30. I joked that he could skip work and I could stay the night, and he was all for the idea. But then I told him I was going to make him be responsible and go to work. (I later decided I didn't mind if he skipped work because I was enjoying my time with him too much and we all know he wouldn't lose his job). He went into work a couple hours late, and, as usual, no one at his work noticed, so it all worked out. I finally made it home at around 10:30 at night. My mom and Ron were camping all weekend, so I had the place to myself... but I only slept there the first night. I was gone all weekend myself.

Tuesday, Mecha and I got sushi, as we do every single week. We did some shopping afterward. Now it's 2am, and I am finally alone. I have been surrounded my people for days. I have also been extremely physically exhausted. I think I'm going to sleep all day tomorrow. If you're introverted, you never really lose that. I'm much more extroverted now, but I still get exhausted around people easily, despite spending more time with them than I used to.

This is just a recap of my last weekend. I'd like to touch on the last couple weekends before this one. And just talk about some other things that have been going on. But this post is long enough and it's late and I'm tired.