Don't Slow Down

I guess I'll follow up on my last post by talking a little more about Jonah. Yep, it's Jonah.

I spent the day with him today because he got out of school super early in the morning. It was a nice day. We got lunch, took his dog to the dog park, and then we hung out and watched some shows before he had to go to work.

Although this blog is mostly private, and I know as a fact anyone who reads this doesn't know Jonah and hasn't met him, I'm not going to air his dirty laundry. So when I talk about these things, I'm just going to talk about these things kind of vague and in general.

So, there are three things about Jonah that I would be uncomfortable with if I didn't change my mindset recently. The first is the drugs. He ran a dispensary in California when he lived out there. The good news is he's not a stoner and, according to him, hasn't smoked in weeks. The bad news, he does all the recreational "fun" drugs that aren't hard drugs? Party drugs. He does party drugs. I won't get any more specific, but he does these recreationally and not as a crutch like most people I know. I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of it. One drug specifically because it's dangerous... and he hangs around dangerous people who come from dangerous places. "The trap" as we affectionately call it.

The second thing is his church... or whatever it is. I don't like to ask questions because I know there are things I'm probably not supposed to know. It's not the masons, but it's like the masons. He's been invited and is trying to get inducted into this society and there are religious undertones and I don't know a lot about it honestly. I guess he doesn't seem to care that I am not religious at all... I feel like if he and I do stay together for a very long time and he does get fully involved with this society, that they may care. I feel like they'll control his life, but what do I know? He's pretty serious about it. He's about to start having to travel out-of-state every other weekend to attend church... He offered to take me with him. Hell, maybe I'll go.

The third thing is his seriousness. On the one hand, it's great that he IS being a gentleman and not being a fuckboy for lack of a better word. It's nice that he is taking this relationship seriously and doing things the way things are supposed to be done. I guess what worries me is that he is of the mindset of settling down. I mean, that's never something I thought would be a goal of mine. It's more something that I expected would happen if it happened. So, I guess if it happens, it happens.

I'm taking this pretty seriously too. I've gotten rid of all the influencers in my life and am ready to just be happy with someone again. I mean, I'm putting in more effort with this than anyone else in the past year (except one person who I put a lot of effort into, but they didn't realize it).

It's nice that he doesn't make me try though. It's so nice.