Attach/Resent - ment

When I disappear do you fear for the sister I took? When I disappear it is clear I am up to no good.

The only way to make them truly understand is to make them feel it too.

I find myself wondering where he is when he doesn't come over. I haven't seen him in a few days. He typically comes over about 6 out of 7 days of the week. But I haven't seen him since Monday. Is it bad that I resort to the jealous girlfriend mentality? In my mind, he is most definitely out with other girls. It doesn't bother me to think about it as much as it bothered me to see it at the Halloween party. I hate that this is happening. I hate that I have gotten attached. I thought I was stronger than this. Getting attached makes me feel so weak. I am willing to be weak for the right person, but don't I think I want to be weak for this one.

Touch me or don't. Just let me know where you've been.

Well, I know I am stronger than this. I haven't gotten the chance to relearn how to be alone. As soon as it was over with Max, it started with Jack. Jack isn't a relationship though. He doesn't care about me. And I really don't know if I care about him. I think because I didn't get to be alone again, I just want company. It doesn't even have to be physical. I just want someone to watch movies with or, hell, even sleep beside sometimes. I never thought I'd say that. I always liked sleeping alone...

P was going to come over this weekend. He wants to spend the weekend with me. I just can't do that right now... I tell him I'm not ready for that but, honestly, I don't want my roommates, or especially Jack, see a random guy spending the night with me. I don't want them to see any guy spend the night with me. Jack for obvious reasons, but my roommates have a pretty good inkling about what Jack and I have going on, and I just don't want my roommates to judge me to be honest. I know I shouldn't care, but I've got to keep appearances, ya know? Got a reputation to uphold... whatever kind of reputation that is.

I have a lot going on. I missed two days of school. A lot to make up for.