Five Hours

I'm so weak and emotionally drained right now.

We had the intervention. I'd like to say it went well, but I really don't know.

Ashley came first, and we sat her down and the whole family was there. My mom started out by first saying we know she lost her job and we know they pawned the engagement ring. I know right then that Ashley's heart dropped by the look on her face.

So, she was first, and I felt so bad for her. She was silent the whole time and just took it all in mostly. They weren't yelling or accusing or anything, but I know she probably felt like she was being attacked anyway.

Now, I didn't say a word the entire 5 hours (yes, this took 5 whole hours) this was happening except at the end when they left I hugged them bye and told them both that I love them.

So, then Ashley went out in her truck and cried for awhile while Johnny went and got Josh. Josh took it way worse than Ashley did and way worse than I expected him to.

At the very beginning of Josh's "talk," my mom mentioned that she has talked to his boss about this. His boss is one of my mom's ex-boyfriends and she has known him for years. But that really struck a nerve with Josh. He exploded. He was so enraged that he stormed out of the house and was screaming at my mom in the yard. We got him to come back inside before it got worse though. He thought it meant he was going to get fired, but my mom assured them that he still has a job. And then Josh was upset because now his boss is going to "look at me like I'm a fucking junkie." And I thought, well, if you're worried about people looking at you that way, it means you're ashamed of being that way. I didn't say that though. Like I said, I didn't say anything.

I could go into so much detail and say all the things that was said, but that was five hours worth of conversation, and this post would be super long. Josh absolutely refuses rehab, but my mom stands firm on her deal.

See, Johnny came up with a compromise: Josh calls the rehab place and reserves a bed (a bed won't open up til August). In the meantime, he gets off the pills himself, and if he can do that then he doesn't have to go to rehab (because obviously he won't need it anymore). I thought that was an agreeable compromise, but my mom said "absolutely not" and "hell no." Because she says she's heard it all before, and they've said they'll quit in the past but never did.

Oh, and Josh has wanted a truck so bad. You have absolutely no idea how bad he wants a truck. And my mom and grandma bought him a truck. It's a really nice truck too. But! It's at my grandma's house in Hermitage, and Josh can't have it until he pays $1000 down and goes to rehab. He has to pay my grandma back, in monthly payments, all the money she spent buying it (which she bought with $3000 cash).

So, my mom told him about the truck today. He wants it so bad, but he will not go to rehab. And he mentioned he'll just get a loan for the $1000, but my mom said no. All the loans they have out and all the money they owe is a big reason we had the intervention in the first place.

But anyway. It's been an emotionally and physically draining day. I had the worst headache when it was over. It was up there with migraine-degree headaches. So, I gave in and took a BC. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I quit taking BC for awhile because the last time I took it, it made me sick. It made my stomach hurt for a week. I'm almost positive I have an ulcer/stomach bleeding because of this stuff. But I took some tonight, and within 10 minutes I could feel the effects. It was great. My headache went away and even my throat, which has been sore all day, quit hurting. Haha, which was an added bonus because I didn't expect that to happen. But since those medicines thin your blood, my whole body feels extremely weak now, and I'm tired. I don't want to go to sleep though. I never want to sleep anymore.