A lot has changed since we last spoke

I told myself I was going to stay single for awhile this time.  And I still technically am. But he and I are ~exclusive~ so... I'm kinda not. 🤷‍♀️ The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, and I really hate that this helps me so much. I'm already sleeping better and eating again. Maybe even... a little happy again? 

(My doctor was concerned about my weight loss. It was the first thing she said when she walked in the room. My iron levels are alert-level low, too. I'm eating more and taking iron).

So, I thought I saw some red flags early on.  I feel like he presents differently over text than he does when he speaks/in person... so we talked it out and I'm back on board. I'm kinda dumb though 🙄, so I'm gonna list the potential red flags anyway in case my intuition was right:

-He comes off as a little controlling

-He was on the way to become a cop at one point

-He is a former marine

-His goal is to find someone to marry and have kids with

-He lives in Milan (where The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Me is from)

If you presented these things to me without any other info, it would be a HELL NO. 

But

Now hear me out

But we talked about the cop thing,  and he said he ultimately decided not to do it. He grew up in San Diego and was closely around a lot of gangs. As in,  friends and family of his were/are in gangs. I kinda get the military-cop pipeline to escape the gang stuff and not get sucked into it. 

It also softens the blow a little that he is 100% not white. White cops are the worst cops. 

I told him my opinion on cops and why I don't trust them. He took it way better than I expected. 

I've told him marriage is a hard sell for me and I've never wanted kids. He still wants to pursue this for some reason. 

He isn't actually from Milan, so I can't imagine he really knows any of the terrible people there. Also, he's a very large man, and I'd feel so safe running into anyone anywhere next to him.  

He made some comments via text message that rubbed me the wrong way with their tone, so I told him I wasn't sure I was ready for all this. But when we FaceTimed later, he addressed that and made us talk about it to get it out of the way, and he was so nice about it that it changed my mind a little. I'm still on high alert though. 

So, they say if your next person looks absolutely nothing like your ex, then they are just a rebound and it won't last. This man looks nothing like me ex... he does, however, kinda look like a mixture of a couple different people I've dated. So he is "my type" for all intents and purposes.  But he's nothing like the last one in almost every way.  He has some of the missing parts I've been wishing for. 

I'm so very attracted to him,  but I'm still not sure if I'm ready for this.  Perhaps he is just fullfilling a fantasy of mine (he kinda is...). He seems to be pretty into me. And snagging a man this hot (6ft; dark; former personal trainer, so fit/muscular; speaks Spanish 🥵) is a huge confidence boost for me. 

But, ya know,  personality and attitude have always won over hotness. This is my second super-fit, too-hot-for-me, neck-tattoo rebound (refer back to The Boy from 2020).  Let's hope this one doesn't ghost me. He seems like the kind of guy who will be pretty straight up about just about anything (something that scares me a little tbh). 

Let's see where it goes, shall we?