I feel like I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown.  All the stress and pressure I can physically feel boiling in my stomach. 

I am not happy.  

I'm very unhappy. 

The only way to be happy again is to not care so much.  And we all know when I quit caring,  it all ends.  I weigh the options daily.  

This is not what I want.  I'm not trying to compromise.  I'm not even trying to talk about it. I'm just over it.  

So I guess this is the beginning of my 4 month check out process. I'll be miserable for way too long like I always do. But this time I'm going to stay alone for awhile.  I've realized it's imperative to reset. I could really use a rest.