Dad has lung cancer and has maybe a year to live, probably less. 

He will not be undergoing any treatment. His choice because he believes chemo and radiation will make him feel worse and not buy him anymore time. 

It has been hard to focus on anything else. 

So I also get to be stressed out about Lane all but ghosting me these last few days. I'm sure he has his own stuff going on (I wouldn't known since he doesn't talk to me), but zero communication has gotten extremely old. I've been sitting here mentally preparing for it to end because what else am I supposed to expect? I don't know if it's going to end, but it's adding significant stress on top of the already existing massive pressure of stress I already feel. I've been thinking, a lot actually, that I don't need that. I'm tired of it. I don't know why I have put up with it for as long as I have. 

I'm just so over it. 

I want to spend time with my dad. I don't want to be sad every waking moment.