No one has ever been honest with me. Not a single person I have been close with has been truthful with me.
Not one.
So why should I be honest? I am an honest person. Unless I'm planning a surprise party for you, I won't lie to you.
So why am I never extended that same curtousy?
Why don't I deserve the truth?
I've never been respected, and I'm left wondering what I need to do to earn respect.
I'm suspicious and untrusting of everyone now.
I was talking with Meyer earlier today about the type of men I date. He basically said I could do better. The only good looking men I've been with either didn't respect women in general or decided they wanted nothing to do with me.
I'm still trying to figure out what's so unappealing about me.
I thought about the type of men I date. Is it a power thing? Do I like having that power over them knowing I am out of their league?
But I don't feel like I'm out of their league.I realized it's because I want to feel appreciated.
I don't want to feel insecure, like he can get someone prettier than me. Someone better.
It boils down to low self-esteem.
In the end, I don't care if he's classically handsome or financially well-off.
I just want to be respected.
I've yet to feel that.
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