Bitching because it's always this way

I know I'm probably going to delete this post like I did my last one, but let me just get it out of my system.

I am at Max's house right now. Alone... as usual. He left to take his roommate to the bank an hour ago. I already figured they'd stop at Jan's house to buy weed or something because they always do, and anytime he/they go to Jan's, they stay for a very, very long time. He's been gone for an hour (the bank would have only taken 10 minutes), and he just texted me saying he had to get his oil changed. Did he though? How come every time he's meant to be gone for only a few minutes, he all of a sudden has to get some work done on his car? Last time it was his tires... brake fluid... I don't know. I'm not saying he's lying. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm just so tired of being alone.

I mean, I like to be alone when I PLAN to. I don't like being alone in someone else's house when I planned otherwise. Every time I come over, he has to get high for hours with his friends in the other room. And since I don't want to get high, I just sit in his room. By myself. Every time I'm here. I'm on fall break from school right now. If I wanted to lie in a bed alone and waste away on my laptop, I would have just stayed at home. I spent more time wasting away here than in my own home...

So, I sit here by myself and get progressively more sad, and then I don't want to tell him. He can always tell. He always says I'm "mad" at him, but I'm not usually mad. Just kinda temporarily really, really depressed. If he can tell though, and it's like this every time, then why does he continue to do it? He always knows what he's doing and admits it afterward, like, "I shouldn't have ____" and somehow I always forgive him for admitting his faults, but lately I'm realizing that that's not enough. I've already decided that next time I have the opportunity to stay at his house I'm going to tell him I won't do it if I'm going to be just as alone as staying at home.