Just because I don't smoke, he doesn't smoke around me or at all when I'm at his house. He said he'd quit if I lived with him. I realized this before, but never thought to bring it up. But we talked about it last night. Unlike other people who have "quit" things in the past, I actually believe him. I never try to guilt people into quitting anything they do. I don't try to change people. If I really didn't like something about them, I wouldn't get involved with them. But I thought that was pretty cool of him.
I really don't like lying. I have to lie to people about where I'm going, what I'm doing, and especially who I'm with when I go to his house. One day we won't have to keep it a secret though. That's another thing we talked about. The whole secret part of it. I'm glad we talk about these things instead of pretending they aren't there or aren't a big deal. I told him what my mom might think about it. She probably wouldn't like it. I don't know how my brothers would feel about it. I don't want them to dislike him. He said he told his mom about me. Like, "She's in college... she's really smart... and she's 19." Which came as a bit of a shock to his mom. I'm sure if I met her, she would change her mind. Oh, if it's not clear, he's older than me. He's 24, which isn't that big of a deal. Not to me anyway. And now that I think about it, I don't think my mom will be too surprised when she finds out. She knew I liked him before I did... six years ago. He liked me back then too, apparently. That's what he told me last night, but he felt weird about it because I was, like, fourteen at the time. Maybe younger. I don't think I was even in high school yet.
So, that was the last time I saw him: before I even entered high school or shortly after. He's friends with my older brothers and would hang out all the time with them. Of course, he and I kinda secondhand hung out back then. I'm pretty sure I liked him back then, but I didn't know I did. My mom could tell because she brought it up once when he came over one Fourth of July. I didn't know what she was talking about, but I did always like talking to him and I always thought he was so funny (I still do). And then he kinda just disappeared for about six years. I always wondered about him. I checked Myspace to see if he still used it. Of course, Myspace was a wasteland. I searched for him on Facebook a few times under different names because he goes by a nickname, but I've always known his full real name and had tried searching different variations of his nickname and real name but to no avail. I'd seen his ex-girlfriend* (who I wasn't sure if he was still dating)on Facebook and tried to creep her to see if I could find his Facebook through hers. I assumed he just didn't have one. Until one day, I happened to notice him on a friend's Facebook under a nickname that was obviously him. So I added him. Then he started hanging out with my brother again. And we talked through Facebook/texting for awhile. Then at my brother's band's house show, we saw each other in person for the first time in six years.
He always mentions how he's so glad I found him on Facebook. He was so happy when I added him and when we started texting. So I guess that's what really started this whole thing.
*I have always disliked this girl and not due to jealously. He dated her for six years. She cheated on him ALL THE TIME with SO MANY GUYS. She cheated on him with Mike, Wes, and, I think, Mat. And those are just the ones I know personally. There were definitely more. Oh, she was also messing around with all four of these guys at the same time. She's the girl who caused a bunch of problems with Mike at Ryan's graduation party. That was the only time I had ever met her. I thought she was cool at first, but I knew who she was and what she had done to A, and I have always disliked her for it. Even I knew at the time he didn't deserve it. And I know he knew about it. He and Mike used to HATE each other and had physically fought because of this girl. That's another reason I disliked her for tearing their friendship apart. Anyway, he told me one night, "I stayed with the same girl for six years because I was lazy." Basically they stayed together so long because I guess she was all he knew and he didn't want to put in the effort to change things...? I don't think he knows how much I know about her and how much I remember from back then. Because he talked about her as if she was someone I didn't know. He never refers to her by name (and I don't refer to my exes by name either) and doesn't talk about her much. Anyway...
So, I've said in a couple posts that I would explain our history a bit, and here it is.
I know he's the only thing I seem to talk about here now, but it's really just the most interesting thing in my life right now. I've got other things to talk about too, but I'm always so busy with school and everything, that I rarely think about this blog anymore. I really only think about it when something is on my mind that I really want to talk about... because this is where I got to talk about things.
In other news, I went to South Carolina recently. I'm not sure if I mentioned that. I'll talk all about that trip in a later post. I'm back at school for the new semester. My classes are going okay. I've made some new friends! That one is always a difficult task for me. I don't put in the effort of making friends... something like that should be effortless. Nikki stayed with me last weekend. I'll have a lot to say about that. Um... I'm not allowed to hang out with Logan anymore. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that in an earlier post or not. I got a new laptop finally! My last one, Lappy, was really on the very last leg. I applied for a passport and should be getting it in about four weeks. My summer plans are coming together.
Next weekend I'm having a secret rendezvous at A's house. I'm going to stay for the weekend and it will be glorious. He said he's going to make me breakfast in bed, but I'll probably wake up before he does haha. It's going to be awkward if any of his friends just happen to drop by (they have been doing that lately). Only one of his friends, Dave, knows about me. I don't know Dave but I've heard a lot about him and he seems like a cool guy. I've told a few of my friends about A. Nikki, Logan, Fonz, and Dann. They're all people I can trust not to spill the beans though.
Well, I guess that's enough for now. I've got homework to do and a test to study for.
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