Cherry Red

I guess the first thing I'm going to address is my "boy problems" cuz I'm in middle school. Nate is back at school, which means he's back to ignoring me. I guess I should have expected it, but I kind of thought this time would be different? Last night when I went to sleep, I texted him telling him good night, but I intentionally made it sound disconnected and uninterested because that's exactly how I felt. So, this morning I woke up with 5 messages from him saying good night, good morning, and what he's been doing today. Haha, that doesn't really make up for anything... at all.
- - -

Is that your "can-you-see-I'm-over-you" smile?
Well, baby, I will bury you if this is gonna be awhile

And Pamp is acting like he's still in high school. Oh, wait! Because he is. I should have known better a year ago. His Facebook status says, "fuck today it was shit pretty good morning during third went to shit got worse and worse and leveled out at the end here im not mad anymore and she thinks we can be friends im not even replying to that that last parts a whole separte matter that doesnt effect my mood" from last night. All I said to him was, "Hey, Pamp" when he walked in the room, and he blatantly ignored me. Lol. So, I took the hint. At least now he's one less thing to worry about.

I'm tired of feeling stupid. I liked myself better when I was just me. I don't like getting attached to people. I especially hate people getting attached to me.

Last night, when Nick (my cousin, who I am here to hang out with) got home from school, he had his entourage with him (his girlfriend, her friend, and Pamp). They all went to PetCo to pet kittens... Nick invited me, but with the elephant that would have been in the room, I didn't want to intrude. Besides, it's cold as fuck outside, and I didn't want to go back out there. When he got home (alone), he didn't seem to be in the best of moods, so he went up to his room. I didn't see him for the rest of the night...

My day has hardly started today, so I'm going to save this as a draft and finish it tonight.

Tonight: Nick wasn't allowed to have his entourage today because we went to eat at Mikado (a Japanese steak house). It was delicious and we had the same chef as last time we went months ago, so it was a good show too. Um... I got my hair cut today. I guess that's not too exciting. It's slightly different but more of what I've always strived for. So, I'm happy with it. Nick went to bed a little after 8, so I don't know what to do with the rest of my night. Nate told me this semester of college is boring already. I know it's because that girl he's infatuated with isn't there this semester. Meh.

I'm tired of caring about things, so I'm just gonna go back to not caring. I'm always calm and "naive" on the outside. Like I've said, I only ever talk about this stuff here. Nobody else knows. As it should be.

But anyway, I guess I have nothing else to say. I think I'll do some writing and waste away on Tumblr for the rest of the night.