scum

I grow more and more tired amd disgusted.

I thought there were decent people out there.

I should be more careful. I'm ready to disappear.

My spirit is gone, and I am no longer trying to get it back.

Black

You've never been weighed and then measured,
Found wanting,
You've been seen, found tough, and let be.

And before I go saying, "You'd make a bad lover,"
I think that I'll let you kiss me.
I cannot, in good conscious, wear white;
If I'm honest, my wedding dress needs to be black.
'Cause I've seen too much skin and the souls that live in it,
I fear I'm the bride you'll give back.

You take and you give,
You give and you take.
It's a simple give-and-take.
The cash on the dresser is money I make.
I love how you told me I was pretty...

They all do,

And it makes this smile easy to fake...

...It's a simple give-and-take.
I'll grow back good if I break.
Until the day that I know I'm no better alone...
I guess this is just what it takes.

If it is time to go, it's time to go...

Pisces (2/20-3/20) // Ten of Swords

The Ten of Swords is a strong message for you to just let the situation end, Pisces. Leave it. If there are feelings of betrayal and hurt associated with it, then allow yourself time to process and work through them, but don’t play the victim. You are the strong source of light here, and even a wound inflicted on your heart won’t dim you. Focus on healing and letting go, and soon enough you’ll be able to see the reason for all the recent events.

How are these things so specifically relevant??

From an entirely different source, concerning the lunar eclipse tonight:

...this particular lunar event falls in the emotional, complex sign of Pisces...

Things will come to an end or be completed. This sense of finality can appear in essentially any area of our lives. Perhaps it will manifest as a relationship that’s burned itself out or you’ll finally finish a project you’ve been working long and hard on. Either way, it will be over and done with. Say goodbye and move on to whatever is next on your plate.

The truth will be highlighted for many people, especially in terms of relationships. If there is something that has been kept from you, or you’ve been unable to see it, soon enough it will come to light. When the truth finally does come, don’t ignore or brush it off, face it head on and get past it.

Some of us will finally be able to let go of any pent up anger or rage that we have been holding inside ourselves for so long. As such, we may be very emotional and our judgment may be clouded, but once we release the aggression we can breathe a sigh of relief and think clearly once again.

Some of us will experience a heightened sense of creativity and expressiveness. Use this renewed interest in the arts as an outlet for any of the aforementioned anger or frustration that you may be harboring. Write, sing, draw, or paint out your emotions rather than unleashing them on others. That way you won’t cause anyone unnecessary hurt or burn any bridges.

Many of us will find balance and a renewed sense of ourselves. As shown throughout what was mentioned above, we will dealing with a lot of heavy stuff that’s been weighing us down. When we’re finally free of it we will have grown and become all the more wiser for having experienced it in the first place. Look inwards and determine both what you want and what you stand for, then focus on the answers that only you can provide yourself with!


( http://www.sun-gazing.com/rare-lunar-eclipse-pisces-prepare-huge-energy-shift-night-september-16-2016/?c=wp )

How naive I am for thinking anything would ever be different.

I'm clocked out of life at the moment. Looking for something to make it exciting again.

Don't get me wrong: I am appreciative. I can't stress enough how much good friends have helped me. Meyer is like the best dude ever right now. I hope he sees this too because he should know. I appreciate you too, Michael! If you ever see this.

I'm glad there are those who stuck around. Who seem to still want me around...

I value friendships like these. I value friendships for what they are. Some people aren't friends, and I don't have the energy to pretend with them anymore. I am no longer putting in the effort. I'm serious about this.

I've gotten so used to people disappearing that I don't take it so hard anymore. I just accept it, and move on.

And that's exactly what I'm doing.

I've realized that things I want in life have changed. I thought at first that I just wasn't being myself. That this wasn't me. But I realized it's because *I* have changed. I am allowed that. I preferred the way I was before, but circumstances have somehow shifted in a way that I can't go back. Not until I'm comfortable anyway.

I'm so uncomfortable. And very, very discouraged.

You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.

I did see him again.

I've lost all interest. I don't care what he looks like. He's boring. He thinks he's smooth; they always do. He's still trying to get in so much life experience.

I've had enough life experience.

I don't really give a shit about him.