Pacing the room repeating, "it never ends

It never ends 

It never ends

It never ends..."

Don't want to be here. Get up.  Go outside.  Don't want to be here.  Drive. Don't want to be here.  Go somewhere.  Don't want to be here.  Go home.  Don't want to be here. 

FLY somewhere. Don't want to be here.

Attend a big event.  Don't want to be here. 

Lie down.  Don't want to be here.  

Can't sleep. 

Pace the room...

It's starting to physically hurt to hold it all in and it's starting to leak out.

So much is happening right now. 

Too much.  

I'm thinking about how somone can explain themselves with all these words. Put all that time and effort into writing some gratuitous, long, heartfelt, apologetic string of.... words. But the effort stops there.  

Someone can say everything they can possibly think of in as many ways as possible to let me know how much they think about me and love me. 

And,  yet,  still DO nothing.

Nothing changes. The fault is acknowledged before I can bring it up. To have that insight and still 

Do

Nothing

It's like a ton of feathers. One isn't going to make a difference,  but a ton still weighs a ton. 

Tired of ignoring for someone who ignores me.  I wouldn't say I was happier when I was distracted, but I was certainly more content. 

I don't know what's more disappointing. I don't know if it matters.