Saturday, February 10, 2018

Disoriented

I was inside a building with two sides. Both sides were essentially music venues. The first side was softly lit and had theater seating facing a lit stage. Soft music was being performed (wanna say it was Penny & Sparrow). I love this band.

Then I was asked by someone in my party to go into the other side to buy something. There was a store on the side with shelves and products on the wall. This side was poorly lit/very dark. It was an open floor with a crowd facing the band (I don't even know if there was a stage). Heavier music was being played (this time I think it was Citizen). Another band I love. The crowd was rowdy and the music was raucous.

I was trying to find this product on the wall, but I couldn't focus because I wanted to pay attention to the music. But I also wanted to see the show in the other room, so I went back and forth trying to take in enough of both.

I woke up on the floor in the dark room, having blacked out. I was confused because I hadn't been drinking or anything. I was disoriented for the rest of the dream. I went into the bathroom and people were knocking on the door outside, but I couldn't get my bearings straight.

I probably woke up at this point.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Step back

Things have started to get better.

It's still not ideal and it never will be, but there has been improvement for sure.

David spends more time with me. I didn't have to ask for it. I doubt he picked up on it on his own though. I've had enough experience and a large enough example pool to know that men are not that intuitive. He didn't just pick up on my hints. I guess he either read what was on here or in my text messages or Facebook messages. I feel like that's the only way, but maybe I'm projecting...

I'm still keeping an eye out for another living situation because this is still stressful for me, but I'm not hopeful.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

One foot out the door

I miss a quiet house. I miss an empty house. I'm the youngest one here, but I feel like I'm too old to live this way. I'm not in college any more...

I keep trying to convince myself to get used to it, but I've got one foot out the door.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

I live with my boyfriend and I've never been more lonely.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Things are going to change in order for me to be happy again.

I am so unhappy right now and I refuse to live like this.

I will be selfish in my decisions.