Obvious obscurity

Don't talk about it, write it down, but don't ask for help. And I can't be honest with even myself.

Okay, I have been way too slow to act...

Considering I have two very giant secrets, I could easily keep this up for some time with no repercussions since they are secrets not only from everyone else but especially each other.

One secret was supposed to be no big deal and would be dealt with immediately following the formation of the second secret.

Unfortunately, for me, timing is everything. And no "right time" ever occured to do away with the first secret.

And now I'm not so sure if it's as simple as to just "do away" with it.

I have too much of a heart...

But the sheer existence of these secrets proves I have no heart at all.

Really starting to feel guilty.

Do you ever wish you were somebody else?

You're Gonna Carry That Weight

I feel as if my revenge is bigger than the wrong you've done me.

But I think it's because I feel what you didn't: guilty.

(not too guilty though!)

Rain, rain, rain on my mind

I want to tell you how adorable I think you are, but I don't want to play with your emotions.

You are adorable.

- - -

I live a secret second life.

But actually it's more of a fourth or fifth life by now.

Just have to say something

I feel terribly sick. I feel like something is wrong. As much as I want to, I can't sleep. I can't squeeze these pillows tight enough.

Not A Beginning

Usually I make a post at the end of the year with some final thoughts about the year. I didn't do that this year. But maybe I'll do it sometime this month. It's just that... just because it's January 1st, doesn't necessarily mean it's a new start. A new start is going to a new school or getting a new job, or moving to a new house, city, state, etc... The date hardly indicates anything new.

We all know by now that I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I don't like to set myself up for failure. But this year my goals are as usual: to make good grades/maintain my GPA. And I'd also try to read at least one book a month (I can read more than that, but I'm always busy with school now). And of course I've got to try to procrastinate less.

I went to the mall recently. Got stuck in Bass Pro Shop because even though it is still connected to the mall, there is no entrance between the store and the mall... and then we went to Opryland to see the lights. I was walking in puddles the entire time because water had flooded my shoes... I chased a woman down for a good 5 minutes because she dropped her scarf. I don't know. I just really had to get it back to her.

I spent a couple days at Logan's house. I'm sad Caleb didn't get to meet the crew. He got to meet Lee though. We all went to World Market and Maggie Moo's. Then at Target I found $20 on the ground (I justified it as Karma for returning that woman's scarf).

I didn't do anything for New Year's Eve because I was having the most painful stomach cramps I've ever had. That's right. I said it. I laid in bed and watched Freaks and Geeks. I LOVE that show by the way.

Today I went to dad's house. Josh and Ashley are "temporarily" living with him. But I bet they'll stay until they get kicked out (like every other place they've stayed at in the last year).