Climbing

This is my last week and a half of this semester. That means I've got a mountain of work to do before then. But I'm climbin'.

I've had "you're gonna carry that weight" on my mind today. The phrase anyway. At first it seems discouraging, like you're gonna have to carry all this weight so you better get used to it. But it's actually more encourage, like, yeah, I am going to carry this weight! I'm going to carry the hell out of it!

Ya know?

Or maybe that's just my always-trying-to-stay-positive outlook coming out.

I wish I could talk about the happy things here too. Because happy things are happening too! I promise (myself) that I will talk about everything else soon. Perhaps after next Wednesday when my classes are finally over.

FUCKING. OVER!

I always get this super excitement towards the end of a semester.

I just have to climb this mountain first.

Best Nights

I just downloaded the blogger app. I think I will use blogger a lot more often this way.

I just wanted to say:

I haven't felt this way in a long time. In a good way! The best of ways! I had so much fun tonight.

:)

Trying To Keep My Head Up

I could write a book about my last few weeks...

But today...

I am so discouraged after today. I don't really know how to put into words how I'm feeling right now. I don't even have the time to write this because I have so much to do...

I have no time, I get no sleep, I have too much work, I actually work really god damn hard, and I have nothing to show for it because my grades are shit. It sucks to put in all the work and receive none of the award.

I'm at a pretty low low right now.

Where did the time go?

Man, I wrote a lot here last school year. I wrote about my days and my annoyances and what was stressing me out and my work and play. I don't know why I don't do it this year. I could write about every single day, but I just... I don't know. I've gotten really bad. I want to write again... But I've got too much to do right now.

Am I Wrong?

Every time I start to get involved with someone, it feels wrong. I feel like I shouldn't be doing it.

So, I usually withdraw from them.

I'm not sure how to do it this time (or if I will at all) because this person and I have a very long past; we just weren't present in each others' the last few years.

There's one person who it never feels wrong with. Perhaps because the potential harm I could cause doesn't seem so bad. Like he deserves. I'm sure anyone could guess who I mean.



I often write about how blessings are curses. Mine is really starting to get to me.