Best Nights

I just downloaded the blogger app. I think I will use blogger a lot more often this way.

I just wanted to say:

I haven't felt this way in a long time. In a good way! The best of ways! I had so much fun tonight.

:)

Trying To Keep My Head Up

I could write a book about my last few weeks...

But today...

I am so discouraged after today. I don't really know how to put into words how I'm feeling right now. I don't even have the time to write this because I have so much to do...

I have no time, I get no sleep, I have too much work, I actually work really god damn hard, and I have nothing to show for it because my grades are shit. It sucks to put in all the work and receive none of the award.

I'm at a pretty low low right now.

Where did the time go?

Man, I wrote a lot here last school year. I wrote about my days and my annoyances and what was stressing me out and my work and play. I don't know why I don't do it this year. I could write about every single day, but I just... I don't know. I've gotten really bad. I want to write again... But I've got too much to do right now.

Am I Wrong?

Every time I start to get involved with someone, it feels wrong. I feel like I shouldn't be doing it.

So, I usually withdraw from them.

I'm not sure how to do it this time (or if I will at all) because this person and I have a very long past; we just weren't present in each others' the last few years.

There's one person who it never feels wrong with. Perhaps because the potential harm I could cause doesn't seem so bad. Like he deserves. I'm sure anyone could guess who I mean.



I often write about how blessings are curses. Mine is really starting to get to me.

Always Where I Need To Be

I can't keep up with my own life right now.

I'm always doing something every day. I definitely haven't had the time to write.

My classes are going well, I guess. I like all of them except Art History. I made a 75 on the first exam. I never do that poorly. I almost regret taking Honors. I'm considering dropping out of the Honors program because I honestly don't see benefit of it. If I graduate with Honors, will that really make my degree look better. Will potential employers really care? It seems so meaningless.

Anyway. I spend a lot of my time at Logan's house. I've lent my camera to Das Houuse, so they've been having a lot of fun with it, mostly Billy. When I first met Billy, he was a bit iffy. But he has grown on me, and he's a pretty hilarious dude. I felt a little uncomfortable with the whole crew when I first met them all, but I've gotten comfortable with them, and I enjoy hanging out with them now. Lee and I stayed up til 7am last weekend just talking about movies, food, and music. That was fun. The puppy was sick for awhile. Logan and I took him to the vet. He has medicine now, and he's doing A LOT better.

Um... I know there were a few specific things I was going to talk about here, but now I can't remember. So much stuff happens all the time! >.<

Logan and I went shopping last week. We ate at Culver's, which I've never had before. That place is awesome! Then we spent a lot of time in The World Market. I very much like that place. I'm going to buy everyone's Christmas gifts from there. Then we went to Hasting's which is a cheap store with EVERYTHING. That place was cool too. Oh, and we went to Books-a-Million. I bought a few books.

The week before that, Dillon and I hung out. It always seems like it's going to be a bit weird to hang out with him alone without Nikki there, but it never is. We had a lot of fun. We went to Books-a-Million, and I bought books that time too. All-in-all, I spent about $50 on five books, which is a pretty damn good bargain considering how expensive books are. We went to Waffle House afterwards and had fun.

I'll continue this later. I'm going to get lunch with Logan now.

So, anyway. At Waffle House, Dillon was looking through the jukebox, and the cook (who is about our age) asked, "You're not those people who play Justin Beiber and leave, are you?" But then Dillon played Phil Collins and the cook said, "Sir, if you're trying to seduce me, it's working." And we kinda talked to him for a minute. When Comfortable Numb came on, the cook said that next time we come in there, he'll make our food extra good just for playing that song. But the reason Dillon and I were hanging out one last time is because he moved back to Memphis the next day. We told the guy that, and Dillon is (hopefully) coming to MTSU next year. I think it will be awesome if we go into that same Waffle House next year and the guy remembers us.

So, I'm going home this weekend. I went home a few weekends ago for Winter's birthday. I guess I haven't talked about that since I don't talk about anything here anymore. It was fun. But that's the first time I've been home since school started. I kinda thought I'd be going home every other weekend what with being much closer than Memphis this year, but nope! Oh, well. I wish I had my own house, and a car, and a job... So I could be completely independent from my family. It'll happen one day. Then again, I don't want those things because I'm postponing growing up as long as possible. That's the main reason I'm even still in college.

Um... anyway. I'm trying to get out of this "mandatory" floor meeting tonight, so I can go to Logan's house tonight. And if I can't get out of it, I'll just catch up on The Voice and go to it bed early after it's over.

I feel like there's so much more to say here, but I'm done for now. I think a very personal post is in store for the near future.