Oh, my God. This week has been so shitty. I haven't felt like talking about it, and this is the third time I've tried to make post this week. Well, I guess technically since it's Sunday (Easter Sunday actually-not that that means anything to me. Just a regular day for me), I'm referring to last week. Such a shit storm. This is going to be ALL 100% complaining about my week because not many good things happened this week. So, I'm going to keep this short and not bitch in detail...
Well, first of all, I was super behind on my work/homework all week. I was so stressed about it. I've gotten most of it done though. I skipped class on Tuesday all day. This week has probably very negatively affected my grades. (I found out that at other schools attendance isn't even required. My school is so fucked up...). I woke up at 4am Thursday morning and wrote a paper. Surprised I finished it by 9am when it was due... Then I did homework nonstop all that day until almost 4am the next morning. 24 hours of nonstop homework... still didn't get everything done. But I DID get shit done. Then I only slept 4 hours that night. I was so exhausted Friday.
That's been the cause of most my stress all week: being behind, having so much homework, and lack of sleep.
A few days ago, Nikki and I decided to cook food, but we needed rice. So, she was going to buy it. We went to the store, and she got a bunch of snacks... she only brought $2 with her, so of course I had to pay for all of it. This happens almost every time we go anywhere.... I'm so sick of it. I can NOT afford to pay for her life. I've bought her so many snacks, meals, and art supplies. I'm not going anywhere with her anymore because I just can not afford it. I've told her countless times that I am BROKE. I have $30 to my name. I wish she could learn some responsibility... I am here for myself and myself only. I am not here for her. I'm not going to buy everything for her and do everything for her. I'm dying on the inside I'm so fucking stressed, and she really isn't helping. I need this money for my OWN art supplies. I don't even buy food for my own self because, unlike her, I have priorities and know how to be responsible with my money. I just can't wait until she learns her lesson for being so irresponsible about everything.
I just... there's so much I could say. I could keep going on about that, but I won't...
To top it all off, my phone just fucked up. I've had this phone for 11 days. I have not dropped it once or gotten a single drop of water on it. It malfunctioned exactly the same way the last one did. It has a one-year warranty and a 30-day guarantee. Which means if it fucks up like it did, I should get refunded. I called the number on their website, and it sent me to tech support. FUCKING OUTSOURCING! The Indian guy (who thankfully spoke decent English) was like, "I'm sorry that happened. I would be very sad if that happened to me." When I told him my problem. Then he asked me if I tried taking the battery out. OF FUCKING COURSE I TRIED THAT I TOLD YOU THAT UP FRONT. Then he sent me to another lady who asked me the exact same thing, but she couldn't hear me and repeatedly said, "Ma'am? Can you hear me? Ma'am?" So I hung up. There was nothing else I could do. I sent them an email, so hopefully they respond, but I seriously doubt they will. I JUST WANT MY FUCKING REFUND. I don't want another one of their shit phone. I just want my money back...
Everything sucks. Nothing can make me happy right now.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
This post has nothing to do with April Fool's Day
Wednesday I saw Eisley in concert. It was great. It was so irresponsible though because I spent just about the last of my money there. Of course I had to buy Nikki's ticket. I realize she doesn't pay for anything... I'm done buying her stuff now. If she's going to be irresponsible with her own money, she can suffer the consequences. She's got to learn somehow. That means I spent $35 tickets (every concert I've been to in the last year, I've bought both tickets...). I also spent $20 on a t-shirt. I like to buy merch at shows. Dillon went with us too. I just hate that they made me miss the first show. And the first part of Eisley's show! I paid a lot of money for those tickets, so I wish I could have gotten my complete money's-worth! Eh... There is SO much more I could say about that... We stayed an hour or so after the show to meet Eisley when they came out. They were super nice and sweet and awesome.
Earlier that day Nikki and I went to the zoo with JT. It was pretty fun. I'm really gonna miss JT after I transfer schools. ):
Thursday there was a lecture we had to go to. Nikki almost didn't go and said she was just going to copy my notes. I'm about fed up with her being so lazy about school and trying to get by with copying my work. I'm not going to this school for the both of us. I'm going to school for ME. So, I got on to her. I spoke my mind-but being me, I did it nicely-by telling her she can't get through life copying me all the time. Then I started to leave without her because I didn't want to be late (she was taking her time like she always does), but she came along eventually.
Before that, she had class and left me and Dillon sitting on a bench outside. He was going to take me back to the dorm and then go off on his own somewhere, but we ended up talking for the better part of two hours. It was really nice actually.
Friday, I went to Drawing class, but didn't have my homework for the first time ever. Then the second half of class got canceled because my professor got into a wreck over lunch. She's okay, but her car got totaled. I mean, it sucks for her, but we were all FUCK YEAH NO CLASS TODAY! Then I came home for the weekend. Like, home home, not dorm home.
I was going to hang out with Fonz, but we had to reschedule. ): I like seeing him every time I come home. He's one of my favorite people.
I saw my dad yesterday. Taz is getting old and it makes me sad. He can't move as well as he used to, and he coughs a lot now. ): I was hoping for 9 more years with him! I'm going to be a much different person when he goes... but I don't want to think about that. I could say some really emo shit right now, but I don't want to sound crazy.
Today was my mom's birthday. I felt so bad because I didn't get her anything. Not even a card. I had actually forgotten all about it until Friday night when I got home. But then I had a brilliant idea and got her Caleb (via Skype) for her birthday. (:
So, I finally know what it feels like to be completely broke. I mean, I never had money before college, but I didn't NEED money before college either. Now I have to buy food and art supplies every god.damn.week. Why can't they provide us with art supplies? >.< Where does that $80k GOOOO?!
Well, I'm going back to school tomorrow... Gonna be miserable again. Especially with the mountain of homework waiting for me.
Earlier that day Nikki and I went to the zoo with JT. It was pretty fun. I'm really gonna miss JT after I transfer schools. ):
Thursday there was a lecture we had to go to. Nikki almost didn't go and said she was just going to copy my notes. I'm about fed up with her being so lazy about school and trying to get by with copying my work. I'm not going to this school for the both of us. I'm going to school for ME. So, I got on to her. I spoke my mind-but being me, I did it nicely-by telling her she can't get through life copying me all the time. Then I started to leave without her because I didn't want to be late (she was taking her time like she always does), but she came along eventually.
Before that, she had class and left me and Dillon sitting on a bench outside. He was going to take me back to the dorm and then go off on his own somewhere, but we ended up talking for the better part of two hours. It was really nice actually.
Friday, I went to Drawing class, but didn't have my homework for the first time ever. Then the second half of class got canceled because my professor got into a wreck over lunch. She's okay, but her car got totaled. I mean, it sucks for her, but we were all FUCK YEAH NO CLASS TODAY! Then I came home for the weekend. Like, home home, not dorm home.
I was going to hang out with Fonz, but we had to reschedule. ): I like seeing him every time I come home. He's one of my favorite people.
I saw my dad yesterday. Taz is getting old and it makes me sad. He can't move as well as he used to, and he coughs a lot now. ): I was hoping for 9 more years with him! I'm going to be a much different person when he goes... but I don't want to think about that. I could say some really emo shit right now, but I don't want to sound crazy.
Today was my mom's birthday. I felt so bad because I didn't get her anything. Not even a card. I had actually forgotten all about it until Friday night when I got home. But then I had a brilliant idea and got her Caleb (via Skype) for her birthday. (:
So, I finally know what it feels like to be completely broke. I mean, I never had money before college, but I didn't NEED money before college either. Now I have to buy food and art supplies every god.damn.week. Why can't they provide us with art supplies? >.< Where does that $80k GOOOO?!
Well, I'm going back to school tomorrow... Gonna be miserable again. Especially with the mountain of homework waiting for me.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
No Contact
Well, I can quit bitching about my phone now. It kicked the bucket.
I've got a new one coming in the mail. So I have to go a week without it. I hope I don't get into any emergencies between now and then.
The other day Pamp told me that he got bitched at by Nana for "cuddling" with me. Lol. Nana and I talked about him when I was at her house. She told me not to date him because she doesn't see him amounting to anything. I know why she says that, but she's Nana.
Obviously I'm not dating him right now. When it comes to relationships, I'm still young and I'm just having fun. It's not like I'm settling down already. Serious relationships scare the hell out of me. *cough cough* (I have a boyfriend who would hate to hear that).
Nate and I skyped last night since I'm phoneless. We debated our opposing beliefs (meaning all of them). We really have nothing in common except the fact that we're both very accepting of each other. I say "of each other" because I know I'm accepting of everyone. I just know he's accepting of me.
Today Nikki and I walked around. I bought some things I needed. I cleaned my room halfway. It was a slightly productive day but not as productive as it could have been...
I've got a new one coming in the mail. So I have to go a week without it. I hope I don't get into any emergencies between now and then.
The other day Pamp told me that he got bitched at by Nana for "cuddling" with me. Lol. Nana and I talked about him when I was at her house. She told me not to date him because she doesn't see him amounting to anything. I know why she says that, but she's Nana.
Obviously I'm not dating him right now. When it comes to relationships, I'm still young and I'm just having fun. It's not like I'm settling down already. Serious relationships scare the hell out of me. *cough cough* (I have a boyfriend who would hate to hear that).
Nate and I skyped last night since I'm phoneless. We debated our opposing beliefs (meaning all of them). We really have nothing in common except the fact that we're both very accepting of each other. I say "of each other" because I know I'm accepting of everyone. I just know he's accepting of me.
Today Nikki and I walked around. I bought some things I needed. I cleaned my room halfway. It was a slightly productive day but not as productive as it could have been...
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Lonely
I never realized how much I depend on my phone until now. Today the fucker decided to quit working. Like, as if I hadn't paid the bill and it was cut off. Only, I did pay the bill... The last message I received was at 7:30 this morning. After that: nothing. Until 7PM. I received a couple morning messages 12 hours late... I thought my phone was working again then, so I sent a few messages, and now I'm not getting anything again and I don't even know if mine went through. This shit better start working because I just paid the bill a few days ago and am getting so broke...
So, my last couple days at Nana's was fun. I feel guilty but I don't at the same time. I saw Pamp every day I was there, and he was way too close as always. I perhaps could have exhibited a bit more self control myself. I didn't do anything terrible. I just didn't stop him from putting his arms around me. We all saw The Lorax on Friday. It was a cute movie, especially The Lorax himself, but I probably won't ever watch it again. It was too much of a kid's movie. I lay with Pamp on the couch and watched Across the Universe my last night there. He fell asleep on my shoulder which was kind of adorable. At one point he texted Nate from my phone (much to my protest, and I'm too small and weak and powerless to snatch it out of his hands). I hadn't responded to Nate's text in awhile because we were all watching movies.
Nate sent me one like, "Babe, are you getting my messages?"
And Pamp responded, "Yep :) shes in the middle of watching stuff with me -pamp-"
And when Nate didn't respond, he sent another saying, "Im the guy thats always flirtin with your gf all i wanted to say :)"
With which Nate replied, "Oooooh that one guy huh. I thought there was more? Hmmm seems like you got some competition bro"
When I finally got control of my phone, I explained to Nate. Kinda. He was very understanding haha. Then I skyped him later that night and he didn't even bring it up. He brought up other somewhat touchy subjects though.
So, I'm not as depressed I guess. I've accepted my position in this hole and the only thing I can do is get by for the next 8 weeks. My project that was due today turned into a happy accident. I covered a mask in faux fur and when I was shaping the fur around the eyes and stuff, it looked just like an owl. It was completely unintended, but I loved it, so I rolled with it. There are no mistakes in art, only accidental improvements.
So, I found out next spring my school is doing a trip to Rome. You have no idea how unbelievably badly I have always wanted to go to Rome! That one thing may be the ONLY reason I go to this school next year. I don't know though. I'm still going to work with MTSU. If I don't get in there, I'll either drop out or go here next year. I just really, really hate this place and don't want to be miserable for ANOTHER year if I don't have to be...
So, without a properly working phone, I feel cut off from the world and extremely lonely. I NEVER GET LONELY. :/ Also, I've found myself missing people more often. I NEVER MISS PEOPLE. So often I find myself wishing certain people were here with me. Different people at different times. I've been missing some who I probably shouldn't. You can probably guess who. I don't feel like going over my whole spiel about him though and the goods and bads of it all.
Well, actually my phone is slowly starting to work again. Nate called me and we had a little chat. I actually like talking on the phone now. And Michael texted me, and it went through pretty quickly (not instantly like it should, but 10 minutes is better than 12 hours).
So, my last couple days at Nana's was fun. I feel guilty but I don't at the same time. I saw Pamp every day I was there, and he was way too close as always. I perhaps could have exhibited a bit more self control myself. I didn't do anything terrible. I just didn't stop him from putting his arms around me. We all saw The Lorax on Friday. It was a cute movie, especially The Lorax himself, but I probably won't ever watch it again. It was too much of a kid's movie. I lay with Pamp on the couch and watched Across the Universe my last night there. He fell asleep on my shoulder which was kind of adorable. At one point he texted Nate from my phone (much to my protest, and I'm too small and weak and powerless to snatch it out of his hands). I hadn't responded to Nate's text in awhile because we were all watching movies.
Nate sent me one like, "Babe, are you getting my messages?"
And Pamp responded, "Yep :) shes in the middle of watching stuff with me -pamp-"
And when Nate didn't respond, he sent another saying, "Im the guy thats always flirtin with your gf all i wanted to say :)"
With which Nate replied, "Oooooh that one guy huh. I thought there was more? Hmmm seems like you got some competition bro"
When I finally got control of my phone, I explained to Nate. Kinda. He was very understanding haha. Then I skyped him later that night and he didn't even bring it up. He brought up other somewhat touchy subjects though.
So, I'm not as depressed I guess. I've accepted my position in this hole and the only thing I can do is get by for the next 8 weeks. My project that was due today turned into a happy accident. I covered a mask in faux fur and when I was shaping the fur around the eyes and stuff, it looked just like an owl. It was completely unintended, but I loved it, so I rolled with it. There are no mistakes in art, only accidental improvements.
So, I found out next spring my school is doing a trip to Rome. You have no idea how unbelievably badly I have always wanted to go to Rome! That one thing may be the ONLY reason I go to this school next year. I don't know though. I'm still going to work with MTSU. If I don't get in there, I'll either drop out or go here next year. I just really, really hate this place and don't want to be miserable for ANOTHER year if I don't have to be...
So, without a properly working phone, I feel cut off from the world and extremely lonely. I NEVER GET LONELY. :/ Also, I've found myself missing people more often. I NEVER MISS PEOPLE. So often I find myself wishing certain people were here with me. Different people at different times. I've been missing some who I probably shouldn't. You can probably guess who. I don't feel like going over my whole spiel about him though and the goods and bads of it all.
Well, actually my phone is slowly starting to work again. Nate called me and we had a little chat. I actually like talking on the phone now. And Michael texted me, and it went through pretty quickly (not instantly like it should, but 10 minutes is better than 12 hours).
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Don't start that again
Back at school and immediately super depressed. I have so much to say, but I just don't feel like it...
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