None of that'll matter soon

"Hahaha ok thats good. U know have i ever told i think you look extremely pretty, like really your beautiful. Its not just in looks either uno its also ur smile and ur laugh, and how u hold urself. Its all very amazing"

These are very cute. They make me smile on the inside because he's the only one who has ever said these kinds of things to me. But if he does it too much, it's going to get old... And he doesn't yet know how much I hate "beautiful." I will tell him one day when it matters.

He is a lot different than other guys I've been involved with. Especially the last one... lol. I think he might be sincere, but I'm not going to believe him. I don't want to come out feeling stupid again. "The best way to not get your heart broken is pretending you don't have one."

I learn very well from mistakes.

...Always keep your poise, girl
Don't ever play with boys, girl

I'm Awesome

"Hey idono if anyone has told u this but i think ur pretty fuckin epic just to let uno. And to top it off ur funny and act alot like i do, like the whole careless kinda caring kinda conjubled way i guess.... hahaha im justt saying i think its amazing"

Txtspeak aside, these are the best kind of compliments. I don't much care to be complimented on my appearance. That does nothing for me. But it makes me really happy to be complimented on my personality.

Because, you know, I think I'm cool. Hell, I think I'm fucking awesome! It's about time everyone else realized it too.

Ahahaha, I'm just kidding. I do think I'm funny though. But of course I like my own sense of humor...

This whole post was pointless. Maybe I'll have something of substance to say one day.

Today is April 9

Well, I suppose to follow up on that last post: I went on a date tonight. Like a real, legitimate, proper date. I've never been on an actual date before and it was very nice. He was a perfect gentleman. Which, I'm not gonna lie, is very surprising because I don't expect guys to treat me right. Maybe that's brash, but it's how I feel.

He even texted me afterward and said that this is the first date he's ever been on that didn't move way too fast. I hope he knows that if this goes anywhere at all, it's not going to get there very quickly.

I toured O'More this morning. It was a very nice school. It's an old mansion-turned-college campus. But, I have made the final decision to attend Memphis. Memphis is one tough act to follow and they gave me an unbeatable offer that I can't refuse.

I could go into much more detail about both of these things and my day in general, but I really don't feel like it. I'm going to bed.

Oh, what a heart that she has

Dammit, I'm letting someone get to me. But, by no means in a bad way. I haven't felt this way in awhile. It's a nice change from being annoyed with most everyone all the time. (Especially myself. When I'm annoyed with myself I take it out on everyone else...). I just get the feeling this will end badly like most things do. Oh, well. Such is life.

I hate when this happens though.

I hate when a lot of things happen.

I try really hard to be an optimist, but I guess I'm pessimistic by nature. I think it's human nature to be pessimistic.

And he just asked a question that I always say no to. This time I'm going to say yes. Just to switch it up. Ha. I'm being vague, I know. It's nothing bad, though.

Blind Melon makes me feel sad. I should listen to something more uplifting... maybe Hadouken!. Yeah, I'll listen to Hadouken!. After this Blind Melon song...

You're so much older now. You're holdin' out. You're holdin' out.

Looking back, I used to be a completely different person. I realize I have changed. Whether for better or for worse, I don't know yet. Right now I'm leaning toward worse. And I'd like to change that, but it's so much harder to change dramatically and intentionally. I always say I'm working on it, but I'm not. I'm thinking about working on it. But I haven't done a thing, except think...

I just laughed at the thought of looking up someone on Facebook.